Over the past several days, I’ve sat down, multiple times, with intentions of writing my third blog post. Each time, I sit with almost perfect posture, feet flat on the ground, and arms at a soft, ninety degree angle. My hands and fingers are positioned correctly over the keyboard so that typing is effortless and efficient. Then nothing.
The words aren’t forming! Despite having so much to say, I am having trouble articulating my thoughts. I remind myself- don’t overthink this. Write from your heart, and the rest will fall into place. Or will it?
Anyone that knows me well knows that I value logic and rationality. I despise inefficiency! Sometimes, these characteristics make it very difficult for me to take action because I must think everything through at least 15 times, especially when I’m writing. You can imagine how nauseating it can be to re-read something you’ve written 15 times, only to later delete it all.
I want to make sense. I want to take an extremely layered, complex, issue like social justice in Korea and its relationship to single motherhood and intercountry adoption, and have it make sense to those of you who are reading. This is not easy.
I read an article today in The Korea Herald that helped give me a starting point in my attempts to dissect an extremely complicated issue. Perhaps the most marginalized voices in relation to the intercountry adoption issue are the voices of the single mothers who are forced to choose between two undesirable outcomes. That is, either give your baby up for adoption and suffer the consequences of that loss, or keep your child and live a life of poverty and ostracization in Korea. The choice is yours!
My eomma was given a false dilemma. No real choice. Only the choice to choose between two imperfect outcomes, with no consideration for any other possibilities. In addition, social workers, doctors, and other “helping” professionals are telling you, at a very vulnerable time in your life, that your child, if put up for adoption, will certainly lead a better life than you will ever be able to provide. Simple, right?
And so, an estimated 200,000 of us were sent away to live “better” lives somewhere else, not in Korea. But, what if there had been social support for single mothers? I desire to create space for myself, the 200,000, and single mothers. I desire to help redefine family. I stand as a reminder to put family preservation first.
It begins with a conception in Korea, a pregnancy. Then comes the whirlwind of societal forces, injustice, coercion, narrow-minded thinking, love, hate, pain, sorrow, selflessness, generosity, and love again. Somehow through all of that, I end up, at 6 months old, on the other side of the world in a family that doesn’t share the same race, culture, or language as me. I hope as I continue to write, I begin to unpack all of these pieces.